Surprises!

Usually, I don't do well with surprises. I honestly dislike the unknown. Ask anyone I know. I try to figure everything out in life. i don't handle change very well. It's a part of my personality; but I know God is changing it. He is helping me to learn to adapt, to accept when things don't go as I plan.

Earlier this week, God surprised me. At first, I wasn't very pleased. I didn't want to be out of my element. But once I chose to accept it, I found it really wasn't so bad. Here's what happened:

I spent most of Monday on the road with my DH. He had a dentist appointment in Chattanooga, two hours away from our home. It was a 15 minute appointment. No big deal, though. We had time to ourselves (along with Lizzie, of course). Here's where the surprise came in... on the way home, my DH tells me that he's feeling pretty good (just three days after major oral surgery) and wants to go to a Youth Worker's Conference that he had previously signed up for. Would I be willing to drop him off in downtown Nashville? Duh, no DH! i hate driving in the city. We've been driving all day. Of course I don't want to do that! But once we got home and settled a bit, he asked me the same question in a different way... would I be interested in going with him? The evening session was a speaker (Phil Vischer, Veggie Tales creator) and some Christian bands. It actually sounded like fun. We had a free sitter for the older kids. I wasn't sure how Lizzie would do (turns out she did wonderfully Monday night and all day Tuesday!). OKAY! I'm game. Since he was still on pain meds, i drove us into the city (which wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined).

And then we spent all day and most of the night at the same Youth Worker's Conference (run by Lifeway) on Tuesday. And here's what I learned... seems God might actually want to use me to change the lives of the youth in our area. HUH! Never saw that coming. Teens scare me. I used to be one and I hated it. LOL! Seems I never really got over some of those insecurities... until now. God is choosing NOW to be the time for me to let go of the fears and allow Him to do what He wants to do in me and through me. I'm not sure what that will look like in the near future; but God knows. I think I got one piece of the puzzle when I found a book by Jimmie L. Davis called "The Girls Ministry Handbook". I really like what i saw and realized for the first time that I could have a ministry to Young Women right now. I don't have to wait for God to give me some "Big Ministry" for Women, like I had envisioned a few years back. I can allow Him to start the way He wants to start to use me right now, as a Youth Pastor's wife and a Youth Leader myself.

The Lord also forced me to take a good look inward and to release some more pride. He spoke alot about grace through the speakers and the singers. He made some things new in me on Tuesday. Not just Tuesday, i guess He's been making things new. I just chose to respond in a new way on Tuesday. Tears came and i told Brian how much I've missed the Holy Spirit. I've spent too much time "quenching" Him and i do miss watching Him work mightily. However, He never stopped working in me, no matter what my response has been to Him. He has been the One to hold me close to Jesus even when I didn't feel so close.

here's the kicker... all this happened at a Baptist run Convention. LOL! (Disclaimer: I do not mean to step on any toes of those reading this... I've been in a very legalistic Baptist church and pretty adamantly decided I'd probably never "feel" the Holy Spirit at any Baptist gathering. Ha! God had other plans! The HS showed up in that place in ways I never saw coming! God surely must have been laughing on my account! :)

Okay, Baby Lizzie is crying for Mama, so I'd better wrap it up. Life is full of surprises. I guess I'd better learn to settle down and accept the gifts the God is holding, huh?